Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Homophobia?

The term “homophobia” is absurd. This is a description of a specific phobic presentation out of the DSM IV-TR, which is the American Psychological Association’s catalog of diagnostic criteria:

“DIAGNOSTIC FEATURES:

The essential feature of Specific Phobia is marked and persistent fear of clearly discernible, circumscribed objects or situations. Exposure to the phobic stimulus almost invariably provokes an immediate anxiety response. This response may take the form of a situationally bound or situationally predisposed Panic Attack. Although adolescents and adults with this disorder recognize that their fear is excessive or unreasonable, this may not be the case with children. Most often, the phobic stimulus is avoided, although it is sometimes endured with dread. The diagnosis is appropriate only if the avoidance, fear, or anxious anticipation of encountering the phobic stimulus interferes significantly with the person's daily routine, occupational functioning, or social life, or if the person is markedly distressed about the phobia. In individuals under age 18 years, symptoms may have persisted for at least 6 months before Specific Phobia is diagnosed. The anxiety, Panic Attacks, or phobic avoidance are not better accounted for by another mental disorder (e.g., Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, Separation Anxiety Disorder, Social Phobia, Panic Disorder With Agoraphobia, or Agoraphobia Without History of Panic Disorder).” DSM-IV TR, 1994

In order for “homophobia” to exist, the sufferer would have to present with terror, a gripping desire to flee, hyperarousal (non-sexual!), avoidance, and generalized fear when presented with the “stimulis” of a homosexual. (I am sure that even Rush Limbaugh does not meet that criteria.)

The more fitting term is “homo-prejudice.” This removes the pathology and suggest a much more adequate etiological underpinning: predjudice! A mental disorder, like a specific phobia, requires the attention of a mental health professional. Could a therapist bill an insurance company to treat someone suffering with “homophobia?”

No, because that person has a prejudice and, although they may benefit from therapy, does not have a mental illness. They have a prejudice against homosexuals. Would people accept the terms “Afro-Ameriphobia,” or “Chronic Womeniphobic?”

Monday, February 11, 2008

Powerful Documentary

I am not sure of the popularity of the documentary, Color of Fear, by the renowned therapist Lee Mun Wah. It was used as an eye-opener during graduate school, which still resonates in me despite it being several years since I first saw the full film. For white males, issues surrounding multiculturalism are exeptionally difficult to learn about (I remember watching this segment in class and feeling like every eye in the room was drilling a hole in my back--the lone white male). This film captured where most white men have to start, in order to move deeper into understanding and recognizing their role as deniers and minimizers. It also underscores why social movements have to be In-Your-Face. If they are not, the power of denial will turn the heads of those needing enlightenment.

It is often hard for me to imagine the strength that cultural, racial, and sexual minorities have to muster in order to navigate in our society. Now, I certainly did not have a full supply of silver spoons available to me growing up, but there was a plastic spork near by when it was needed.

That is not a clumsy flippant metaphore.

It is difficult to look at all of the work that I have done and the sacrifices that I have made, and then learn that entire groups of people have it worse than I did. Then I learned that this advantage was granted to me because of my race, gender, and sexual preference. Recognizing this is not an easy first step!

The truth is that I always had utensils. Often times they were cheap and made of plastic, but small opportunities were always there for me to pick up when I was ready to use them. It is hard to look at that as being something that others were refused. Yet, that is the truth, and for many white men clinging to "our story" of success is the best way to remain protected from the pain of some very ugly truths. We take the acceptance, the foundation of opportunity, for granted. That ultimatly prevents others from helping us begin the process of understanding, welcoming, and embracing all minorities as equals. Exploring and facing what it means to be a white man in America is a shame inducing journey. Shame and denial are like... well, they have a close relationship.

So, as I can only move throughout life as a new cognitive minority-- the humbled white male. I catch myself looking at black professionals with more appreciation. I consider the issues of immigrant populations with more compassion, and I look at the bravery of gay and lesbian couples showing affection towards each another in public with respect. While there may be battles being fought that are invisible to me, I can certainly recognize a warrior when I see one.

My appreciation and sensitivity may mean little to those in the fight for equality and justice. Yet, it is a representative victory. It is what has to happen for all white men, and can only happen when an individual's assumptions about what it means to be a white man are challenged in a direct and passionate encounter.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=-vAbpJW_xEc

(How on earth can I post video clips?????)

What happens when I press this button?

Big sister made a "lil-oopsy" over the weekend. The previous occupiers of our home must have hidden their valuables, or deepest secrets, from one another in the master bedroom. Although my wife and I never actually found the key to the high-security lock on the bedroom door, we also never considered it a problem. The other doors can be unlocked from the outside with a small screwdirver. Not this sucker! It is built to withstand the ATF. Well anyway, Big sister was playing with the lock, and then we were all locked out. My credit card trick failed, which left only one option.






It only took a steaknife, a ladder, and two minutes to get inside. My honey-do list just got a little longer.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Meme #2!

Another meme! Cool. I feel like philfree just offered me a smoke. "Hey, dude. You wanna play hacky sack with us?"

6 quirks:

1) I am so arrogant that I don't think I have any quirks.

(The remaining opinions come from my wife. She showed very little hesitation.)

2) I talk in my sleep and, apparently, chew pretend food. This delivers people sleeping near me to locations close to insanity.

3) I enjoy, and expect, people to cry tears of joy...and then wonder why they didn't.

4) I sing heavy metal songs as lullabies to my children.

5) I can play both "Mr. Sensitive" and "Joe Cool" without skipping a beat. (Hey! Like Fonzi!!)

6) I'm a mechanic who hates to fix things. Then she called me: "The elf who does not want to make toys."

That felt a little strange.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Meme?

Okay. I am not sure about the meme rules, but I do feel confident about answering the questions. Here goes my first attempt.

Name something you do everyday:

1) Prepare food for my kids

Name 2 things you wish you could learn:

1) How to make my career change work for me and the family
2) How save money for my kids' education

Name 3 things that remind you of your childhood:

1) Snow
2) The smell of leather (like baseball gloves and jackets--not chaps!)
3) Station wagons

Name 4 things you love to eat but rarely do:

1) Nick's Garbage Plates!
2) Buffalo Wings
3) Patty Melts
4) Crab Cakes


Name 5 things/people that make you feel good:

1) Todd O always gives off good vibes!
2) Pictures of my nieces
3) Talking with my collogues and mentors
4) Seeing my girls (all three) smile and laughing together
5) Obama speeches

That was painless! Do I tag someone? I don't have enough blogging buddies to tag?

Monday, February 4, 2008

Baby Update

Blue eyes! They are certainly blue and do not seem to be darkening up. She is also beginning to eat babyfood. I have been trying out my newest toy-- A high end kitchen aid food processor. However, the baby prefers store bought food. What gives? As a consequence, I have about six pounds of pureed sweet potatoes in the freezer, if anyone is hungry.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Teaching Gig

I was asked to lecture on the psychology of gender at the U of M. Awesome!!! I may have lost some credibility when I asked a student to take a picture of me in front of the chalkboard. "Um? How long have you been teaching?" Hey? Come on. I was excited!